In qualitative research of this kind, 'subjective bias' can be reframed as 'subjective investment' - and as this is a co-operative inquiry, the combined subjective experience of the research team could be described as the 'subjective collateral' of the project. To properly honour the subjective nature of the following section, and to render it more readable, the author has written in the first person.

Positioning of the Author —This Researcher's Investment

A certain yearning for meditative practice began for me in my early twenties. The trigger, as I remember it now, was the pain I experienced at the end of a dependency relationship. Despite -and within- my suicidal ideation there was also the glimmerings of a recognition - prompted by curious reading of a Zen Buddhist book at that time - that I, rather than my absent loved one, was responsible for the depth of my suffering. I was responsible for the extent to which I had been clinging to the relationship. I began to build up an idealised, (and erroneous!) conception of meditation practice as a quick fix technique for detachment -a daily reminder to keep clear of clinging to anything in life. Apart from a couple of unsustained attempts to learn meditation with semi-cultic groups, my interest remained intellectual until my 29'th year.

From my mid-twenties I had also begun to take a practical interest in local self-help therapy initiatives - a men's gestalt group, an anti-sexism group, and some rudimentary co-counselling sessions. This too, was supported by reading. I had no clear 'presenting issues' but had begun my first steps on the personal growth trail. In late 1984 I sat my first ten-day meditation retreat - A Vipassana approach to meditation taught by students of a Burmess teacher, S.N. Goenka. After this I felt firmly established in a meditation technique - I was also ready for some serious life-changing decisions. A couple of months later I took part in the E.S.T Forum - a West Coast, USA pressure cooker style group psychotherpay/training/ cognitive restructuring programme delivered over two weekends.

Then I let go of the familiar routines to work with the peace movement and have adventures. I began a period of voluntary homelessness - living mostly as a ‘new-age traveller’ in England but also spending 7 months in Asia.

When I next settled it was in London where, after a couple of years, I completed a co-counselling Fundamentals course and became firmly engaged with the London co-counselling Community (London CCI) My interest in 'traditional' one-way counselling grew from this and I began a 3yr. Diploma in (Person Centred) Counselling Skills in 1990. I started an apprenticeship with my original co-counselling teacher - James Nichol - at around the same time and became an accredited teacher of co-counselling Fundamentals in 1992.

Since 1984 I had maintained my meditation practice and had completed a ten-day retreat annually with a variety of different meditation teachers. Now I was becoming aware of a certain intellectual tension which existed for me between these two different approaches to personal growth/ mental health in which I had made parallel investment over the last 8 yrs. In the spring (1991) issue of 'The Hug' - the quarterly newsletter for the London CCI - I put out a request for contact with any other Vipassana meditators who were also co-counsellors. I received little feedback; next, in the autumn of that year I wrote a long article for the Hug (see App 1.3) entitled "Meditation and co-counselling - different paths, same goal - or what?" In it I explored the different 'ways' of doing or being with feelings and used the contrasting concepts of self-assertion and self-transcendence. I offered a couple of workshops to the community called "MED-CO" -which were well attended- They consisted, simply, of a weekend marathon of equal timed sandwich style slices of: meditation/counselling/meditation/clienting/...next pair..etc.

Also in 1990 I began to co-facilitate a series of personal growth summer camps known as 'Passages Camps'. Now in their 8'th season, these camps integrate both counselling, group work and meditation techniques (as well as ritual, play, work, shamanic practice, dance and drama, and -essentially- community building) and I have experimented particularly in the context of the daily support group meetings with more dynamic forms of counselling/meditation integration.

The path towards making meaning from these experiences was opened up for me when James Nichol invited me to participate in a co-operative inquiry which he was facilitating as part of his MSc. in Health Education. Entitled "Close encounters with radical humanism" and subtitled "A Co-operative inquiry into co-counselling as a personal development method", the experience not only introduced me to qualitative research - some of it's findings also provided pointers and background to this current work. (see Co-counselling section)

It was a natural step, then, when considering my own research work, to initiate a co-operative inquiry. My intention is to formalise, and to bring into much sharper focus, this integration of meditation and (co)counselling which has been ongoing for more than a decade in my own life. Again, it was natural to bring together a group of people for whom similar such integration had been taking place. There is already a strong tradition of creating co-operative inquiry teams from groups of co-counsellors (Heron,1996; Reason1988). So, between 1996/1997 I wrote articles for the Hug (London) and One to One (national) newsletters about my interest in this area of research and invited other interested people to contact me. (see App1.2)

As a first step into the process of inquiry, all participants were asked to complete a questionnaire. Fifteen (including my own!) were returned. (App3.0.)

I immersed myself in the data contained therein and then completed a blank questionnaire which I present below as an informal, collated profile of the co-researchers positioning. It constitutes a reckoning of our combined collateral.

Positioning of the Co-researchers

Address: London,Hampshire,Somerset,Norfolk,Gloucs, Yorkshire,Dorset, Essex

sex: 6 women, 7 men

age: between 35-62, average age 47 for both men & women

When did you complete your original Fundamentals training?

A broad sweep - some from late 70’s up to summer ‘97

some originally trained in Re-evaluation Co-counselling (RC)

What was your original attraction to co-counselling?

Most respondents came to co-counselling during a period of emotional turmoil in life. Two saw it primarily as an extension of existing skills base, one on a personal recommendation, three as a result of seeing co-counselling in action or seeing others benefit from it.

Say Something about the impact of your Fundamentals training.

Some emphasised the support, close personal contact, a couple were a bit overawed by the strength of others’ catharsis, two had a ‘mind-blowing’ reaction - something of a short-term enlightenment eg. ‘escape from a personal prison’. A couple of people focussed on their subsequent sense of hope combined with a feeling of self-empowerment. One respondent who has more recently completed a Fundamentals was ‘impressed and excited by the open-ended flexibility of the co-counselling tradition, particularly the new transpersonal emphasis’

Say something about the development of your practice of/ interest in meditation. Did this precede, or come after you started to co-counsellingunsel?

Most respondents’ interest in meditation preceded their contact with co-counselling. The earliest reference was to an interest in Zen as teenager followed by being taught TM in the late 60’s. TM was the starting point for quite a number of people and quite a common path of development appeared to be TM followed by involvement with FWBO. It was common amongst meditators with a long-term involvement to have a period of intense practice which faded out to be followed by a renaissance of interest in later life

Please describe your Current meditation practice. It in may be helpful to consider some of the following.:

School or tradition?

Praticing on your own or with a group?

Frequency/duration of sitting?

Do you have a 'teacher' or 'guru' ?

Experience of intensives and retreats?

In addition to the above,Theravadan Vipassana practice was mentioned by four respondents and the mindfulness of breathing as presented by Thich Nat Han by two. One mention of the Tibetan Dzogchen.Two respondents quoted the Enlightenment Intensive method as their personal meditation practice. Three people mentioned long term group practice with two references to Quaker groups. There was one mention of an Active Visualisation method originating from occultist source. Other references include; bodyflow, Western Mysteries tradition, the Qaballah, Diamond Yoga, Chi-Kung and Wicca.

There was a big variance in reply to the frequency/duration question with ‘daily 2*30’ mins to ‘hardly ever’. (shoulds and oughts cropped up here if nowhere else!) Two clear references to teachers, no guru’s and three references to people who are much respected and admired but would eschew the designation of teacher. Intensives/Retreats - one person currently doing two or three weeks a year, another done 12 * 10 day retreats and a range of responses to zero such experience.

Aside from co-counselling and meditation, what other ways of personal growth "techniques" or modalities have you experienced?

A huge range of replies which reads like a menu (and a history) of the human potential movement. Most frequent replies were: Reichian bodywork, dance/movement therapy, Breathwork: rebirthing and holotropic, Enlightenment Intensive, Pschotherapy, Encounter, Psychodrama, EST Forum, Osho/Sanyassin/Bagwan Rajneesh groups

How does co-counselling enrich your meditation pratice and how does meditation enrich your co- counselling? Does either hinder the other? Say something about how you already integrate these two 'Ways' into your path.

What dilemmas or contradictions have emerged during this integration? And how have these been resolved?

Many replies referred to the efficiency of co-counselling as a method of emotional ‘clearing’ in preparation, as it were, for meditation. Likewise, meditation is seen as a mind state which is conducive to re-evaluation after the catharsis of a co-counselling session. Some replies view the two as complementary with no hindering nor dilemmas. A couple of references to the balancing of catharsis of feeling against the transmutationof feeling - here, too great an emphasis of one at the expense of the other is seen as potentially counterproductive and, hence, the practice of meditation and co-counselling is seen as mutually supportive by limiting an over-emphasis of one at the expense of the other. The tradition of self-celebration in co-counselling provides encouragement for one respondent, during times of sustained negativity in meditation. It also provides self-confidence to be with and to follow her process in meditation. One dilemma suggested - as an ongoing process, is simply knowing/deciding what (meditation or co-counselling) is appropriate (in a given situation)

There were a couple of references to the Enlightenment Intensive as a model of integration in which both are seen a mutually supportive with no dilemma. Another (experimental) mode of integration discussed is described as an "insight/encounter support group" in which insight meditation is used to rigorously examination the presence/absence of supportive intention before choosing to initiate or respond to a verbal encounter.

One person speaks both of the mutual enhancement he sees in the two traditions and also of a dilemma experienced between traditional (Buddhist) meditation teaching with obedience to spiritual authority, and the emphasis in co-counselling of self-direction and discovering your own authority. Another respondent, in comparing the ‘sanghas’ of each tradition, found the group process at retreat centres sadly lacking in co-counselling qualities and found himself attempting to introduce co-counselling principles to the retreat group forum.

A ‘conceptual’ integration offered is - co-counselling is like meditating on the client and there are a number of references to how meditation enhances one’s ability to give free attention by developing one’s ability to disengage from one’s own internal processing.

For a couple of respondents, the emphasis in Buddhism of the importance of staying in the ‘here and now’ has given rise to a basic questioning regarding value of regression, and doubts about the value of self-celebration and validation were mentioned in the context of these practices being ego-affirming rather than ego-transcending. The concept of a sequential process illustrated by the colloquialism ‘You’ve got to grab hold of yourself before you can let go of yourself’ was explored as a construction useful for resolving such a dilemma. Another suggestion discounts the sequential model in favour of a simultaneous and cyclical shifting between the two modes of self-assertion and self-transcendence.

Is there a particular area-or even a specific proposition that you would like the enquiry group to focus upon?

And can you suggest any activity with

which the group might test the proposition?

Transformation without discharge?

Can meditation and co-counselling reinforce each other in helping us to let go of an individualistic view of self?

What ‘States of being’ do we have in meditation and co-counselling? - and can we make a couple of maps to see if/how they overlap?

Proposition: that free attention is the doorway to meditation and simultaneously at the core of co-counselling.

Co-counselling theory is helpful to growth but not the complete answer - it has it’s limitations.

Sacred space, practice of the presence of God- divinity of the individual. use of prayer in co-counselling and simple ritual.

Look at effect of co-counselling session on concentration in a subsequent meditation session.

Co-counselling session - rate (1-10) effectiveness, then meditation - rate(1-10) concentration, then co-counselling etc. and do statistics.

Use of direction holding statements in Metta Bhavana Meditation

Eye-gazing, hugging.

Developing free attention as a meditative process.

Silent discharge during meditation.

Explore relationship between catharsis and transmutation.

Use physical techniques eg. yogic breathing, massage, rebirthing, movement in a more conscious way using both meditation and co-counselling to explore verbal and /or ritual techniques & exercises for approaching the transpersonal in co-counselling or meditation.

Considering ‘self’, from a co-counselling point of view, as the ultimate chronic pattern - if so, how would we work on it? Is it shiftable with co-counselling techniques, can it be catharted away?

Updated 16 June 99
by Martin Wilks